


Chained To You

by aleksrothis



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, F/M, M/M, Polyamory Negotiations, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-07-18 18:21:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16124135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleksrothis/pseuds/aleksrothis
Summary: Nicke didn't want a Sentinel, but it doesn't look like André Burakovsky is going to give him much choice in the matter.





	Chained To You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angularmomentum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angularmomentum/gifts).



> You should not need to be familiar with The Sentinel canon for this story to make sense though you can find a brief overview of the trope on fanlore [https://fanlore.org/wiki/Sentinel_AU] if you're interested. Essentially Sentinels are people with enhanced senses and Guides are people who help them manage their senses. Sentinel/Guide bonds are more a staple of fanon than any canon grounding anyway.

Nicke watched with trepidation as McPhee, with no regard for Nicke’s feelings, rapidly called out the Caps first round pick for 2013. “Washington takes André Burakovsky.” The abruptness of McPhee’s selection gave Nicke no chance to prepare himself for it.

Then Burakovsky, with probably no comprehension of the torrent of emotions he was causing Nicke, strolled up to the stage and pulled on the brand new Capitals jersey.

Nicke was torn between wishing he could wipe that wide smile off his face and a strange urge to hug him. He turned off the stream after that. Even if the team traded up for another first round pick, teams tended to avoid having more than one full Sentinel on the roster at a time, as they could get territorial. He didn’t need to worry so much about later rounds either since they weren't likely to make the team for another season at least.

Coming up to the draft Nicke had looked through the prospect rankings. Along with the usual mix of those with enhanced senses there were a few rumours of Sentinels amongst the North Americans, but he was mostly concerned with the ones about Burakovsky. He had known that the team needed more offense and, if they selected him, as a fellow Swede they were likely to be pushed together.

As a Guide, Nicke always had an instinct for who was actually a Sentinel. Now, just from watching Burakovsky’s reaction to his drafting, the short walk up onto that stage, Nicke was certain. There was something about his body language, or maybe the wrinkle of his nose as he put on the brand new Capitals sweater--a Sentinel’s kit was always handled slightly different to minimise issues with the smell or texture, and Burakovsky wouldn’t have had to declare his status before the draft.

Nicke would have to hope Mackan would be willing to act as a go-between, though he felt guilty using his friend like that. He shouldn't need to worry too much; before Nicke had agreed to come over from Sweden, Leonsis had promised him he would never be forced to bond with a teammate. The team had a league-assigned Guide to handle any issues that might come up with Sentinels on the roster but still, spontaneous bonding was known to happen. Now Nicke’s fears were justified as the team had signed not just one more player with Sentinel traits but, by all appearances, a full Sentinel.

Burakovsky wouldn’t be alone on the Caps on the first front. Kuzy had two enhanced senses and Beags had enhanced hearing which, combined with his name, gave the team plenty to chirp him about--jokes about him pricking his ears up abounded. There were always rumors about Holts being a Sentinel, but that got said about all goaltenders. The only one Nicke was sure it was true for, DiPietro, had just been bought out, showing why that didn’t necessarily help in the NHL.

Everyone knew Sentinels got special treatment, even if it was rarely confirmed who actually was a Sentinel. Nicke wasn't unfamiliar with handling the demands a professional career put on those with enhanced senses; it was all too easy for them to get caught out over-focusing on the noise and scents of a crowd of thousands of people, a solid white surface, or the chill in the air. Nicke had even known a kid in Juniors who’d zoned from the sensation of being checked; he hadn’t lasted long.

There had been expectations when he was in Moscow during the lockout that he would help out the team. Nicke had done what they’d asked, though it had been unpleasant, until Alex-who was not a Sentinel to any degree-had quickly made it clear he wasn’t interested in sharing Nicke.

Despite being a Swede, Nicke had read Burakovsky's family were of Russian origin so he didn't know how much that would influence Burakovsky’s attitude.

Nicke sat for a while in the darkened room. Liza had gone to bed already and besides, she was five months pregnant. He didn’t want to bother her with his concerns, as nothing had happened and nothing was likely to. He wished there was someone he could talk to about it and, as if Alex knew Nicke had been thinking of him, Nicke’s phone buzzed.

_You watching?_ it asked and Nicke confirmed. It was less than a minute before his phone buzzed again. _Rumors true?_ this one asked.

Nicke had learnt over the years that Alex was a lot more aware than most people gave him credit for. He hadn’t said anything about Burakovsky but it was clear Alex had done his own research.

_Yes_ , he texted back. There was no point saying anything more.

_You not to worry Nicke_ , Alex told him, but that’s easier said than done.

Still, there was no ignoring Alex and though Nicke was supposed to be the one with empathic gifts, Alex could always seem to tell when Nicke was not being entirely honest.

Nicke stuck with, _We’ll see_ , because he couldn’t not worry and Alex knew that.

_No problems - I promise )))_ Alex sent back. If anyone could keep that promise it was probably Alex, but even he couldn’t control this.

Nicke hesitated, but Alex would be expecting an answer so he simply replied _Hope so_.

**

Nicke was fortunate Sweden was one of the countries with a more enlightened attitude towards Guides and Sentinels; if he’d grown up in North America, he would probably have never made it as far as Juniors, let alone a professional career, given the expectation that Guides were too sensitive for contact sports. They might be cherished since their empathic traits were less common than enhanced senses, and full Guides even rarer, but Nicke wasn't interested in anything but hockey and he had always been determined he would never be bound to serve a Sentinel.

People were always surprised when they learnt Nicke was a Guide since he resisted just about every stereotype of how Guides were expected to behave. Nicke had always just wanted to play hockey so it was better for him to block everything out. He had worked hard to develop the shielding necessary to do that. He’d rather be thought of as cold than have to experience the unbridled emotions of everyone around him.

When Burakovsky turned up for training camp, wide-eyed and keen, Nicke let Mackan take the lead in making introductions. He hung back as they spoke in Swedish, overwhelmed by Burakovsky’s presence.

“Burakovsky, right?” Mackan said. “I’m Marcus Johansson, but you can call me JoJo.”

“I know who you are,” Burakovsky replied, practically vibrating with his excitement. His emotions were so strong it was giving Nicke a headache even without contact as Burakovsky turned to look at him. “And Nicklas Bäckström--I can’t believe I’m meeting you.”

He stepped forward, reaching out as though to shake hands or some other casual touch but Mackan stepped in before he could reach Nicke, bumping shoulders.

“So, what did your old team-mates call you? Burakovsky is too long...and too Russian.” Mackan said it loud enough for Ovi to hear and make a rude gesture in their direction, even if he didn’t understand exactly what they were saying.

Burakovsky turned his attention back to Mackan and shrugged. “Burky, Burra, I don’t really mind. I’m just happy to be here.”

Nicke could tell he really was. “You don’t want to tell that them,” Nicke said, finally managing to get past the sheer force of Burakovsky’s enthusiasm. “Or they’ll come up with something that drives you wild.”

“Like _Papa_?” Mackan teased and Nicke rolled his eyes.

Burakovsky still looked fairly star-struck so while Nicke did his part to be friendly, he felt it was reasonable to keep his distance both in the locker room and on the ice.

He had been prepared to offer to translate at least, but Burakovsky already spoke better English than Nicke had when he’d first come to America. They were working out how many languages he could add to their polyglot mix. Tom was disappointed to learn from Grubi that Austrian was _not_ a language, since they had plenty of Russians and Swedes already.

As predicted, the team did their best to find a nickname that Burakovsky didn’t like, but he really would answer to anything. They mostly ended sticking with Burky.

Nicke wasn’t surprised that Burakovsky had a successful camp since he drew Nicke’s attention every time he was in the ice. Nicke couldn't put his finger on what it was but he could tell Burakovsky had the makings of a great player.

It was still equally unsurprisingly when Burakovsky got sent down to Juniors. He'd been selected by the Erie Otters in the CHL Import draft that summer and was going to get to play with McDavid, who was being touted as the next Crosby. Nicke had opinions on how much attention the press paid to Crosby but they played the Penguins enough that Nicke couldn't deny how good he was. He would withhold judgement on the latest Next One until he actually made the show.

Despite the exalted company, Burakovsky seemed disappointed to be heading to Pennsylvania rather than back to Malmö and the rumors swirling around suggested he had hoped to be selected by a different OHL team.

“I don't want to go to a losing team,” he complained in the locker room after their practice when he'd been told he was being cut.

Was that an actual pout? Nicke had to tell himself sternly it was childish, not endearing, and remind himself this was one of the things he disliked about Sentinels. Maybe they took losses harder than others but it would do Burakovsky good to get used to it now; no team could win all the time and Burakovsky wasn't going to be the magic missing piece that got them past the second round.

Ovi laughed instead, wrapping an arm around Burakovsky's shoulder. “ You lucky, Burky,” he said. “Gonna get to play with Canada's new golden boy.”

**

Nicke tells himself it’s just professional curiosity that keeps him tracking Burakovsky’s stats in Erie, that he wants to know how likely he is to make the show next season for the team’s benefit. On the other hand, there is something mesmerising about watching Burakovsky’s highlights and he is certainly doing well up there. Besides, Nicke tells himself, he was awake for Haley anyway.

Sometimes, when Liza joins him, Nicke feels guilty for his interest, though he never senses anything but curiosity from her. She has told him before that she wouldn’t stand in the way if he ever bonded but Nicke doesn’t need a Sentinel to make his life complete.

He doesn’t know what to think when he catches one of Burakovsky’s interviews and he names Nicke as one of the Caps he is most looking forward to playing with. It does something to Nicke's insides but he quashes that feeling instantly.

As though to add to his concerns, Nicke seems to be getting migraines more frequently this season. Though he has medication which lets him play through them, it's still miserable. Liza does her best to be supportive but Nicke feels guilty that he isn’t pulling his weight with looking after Haley. They work through a long list of possible triggers--food, cleaning products, even the weather--but end up ruling everything they try out.

Whatever the cause, it gets worse when he’s over in Russia for the Olympics. The team doctors give him allergy medicine but something in it pings the drugs test and he ends up sitting out the Gold Medal game. Sweden lose and he has to appeal to even get his Silver medal.

To cap off a bad year, they don't even make the playoffs and Nicke finds himself actually hoping Burakovsky will be there to help next season. The Capitals let McPhee and Coach Oates go over the summer, which gives him plenty else to worry about.

Nicke has had enough of international play for the year so he is already back in Sweden by the draft. Though he doubts the Caps would risk having a second full Sentinel on the team, he is still relieved when the next year’s first round pick--Jakub Vrána--gives off no such vibes.

**

Training camp comes round fast, which means seeing Burakovsky again. While it seems Burakovsky’s nerves have gone, the problem is that Burky is...well, handsy. He always seems to be hugging someone, or leaning against them, and Nicke is finding it harder to find excuses to keep him at arm’s length this time round, especially when he seems to have connected with Whip and Latts.

There is no chance Burakovsky will be spending another season in Juniors, not after the year he just had there, plus the silver at World Juniors, and likely not much of it in Hershey, if their new coach’s expression is anything to go by. Nicke isn’t sure yet what to make of Trotz, their fourth coach in as many years, but learning a new system distracts him from worrying about Burakovsky’s presence.

They are in the middle of some drills when Nicke notices Burakovsky has gone very quiet. From a Guide’s perspective it is clear he is zoning. Nicke nudges Greenie, who calls it out, and keeps his own distance. Unlike Boudreau, who used to hate how Nicke refused to help out, Trotz doesn’t even ask but calls for the team Guide. Suddenly, for the first time, Nicke wants to be the one helping. He feels a weird ache in his stomach as the team Guide puts their hand on André’s neck to pull him out. Burky meets Nicke’s eyes across the rink as he refocuses. Nicke turns away, his face hot.

The year starts out slowly but it is already an improvement on the season before. Burakovsky scores in his first game, against the Canadiens. Nicke tries not to let his personal concerns stop him congratulating his teammate but he still isn’t prepared to risk skin-to-skin contact.

In the locker room afterwards Burakovsky is practically bouncing off the walls, flitting from one teammate to another for hugs or head rubs. Nicke has to make an excuse about wanting to see the physio to get away, but it takes him physical effort to walk out.

Haley’s first birthday comes shortly after their home opener and Ovi insists that Nicke throws a big party.

“Then it’ll be a party for you all, not her,” Nicke objects.

“Yes, team party for baby Backy,” Ovi agrees, and Nicke knew he never had a chance. “We all bring food, Backy. No work for you.”

Burakovsky looks up in interest, which means there’s no way Nicke can avoid inviting him too. At least having the whole team would make it easier to keep his distance.

Despite Alex’s reassurances, it does involve some work for Nicke to organise but he mostly just makes a list of food for the team to bring so they don’t just end up with beers and chips.

It is strange having a Sentinel in his personal space but, once he's there he just seems to fit. Nicke can't allow himself to become too comfortable though, won't let his guard down.

Liza has no such qualms, even dropping Haley into Burakovsky’s arms at one point when she needs her hands free. Nicke is surprised by how natural it feels to see that and has to remind himself that the original role of Sentinels was to be a protector of their community, and the Capitals are evidently now André’s territory.

It is more disconcerting for Nicke towards the end of the evening when he finds Liza and Burky sitting together on the sofa, happily chatting in Swedish and ignoring Latts who is trying to get them to pay attention to him and Whip.

Once it becomes clear André has made the team full-time, Nicke starts to feel guilty about letting him stay in a hotel, even if it is one which caters for Sentinel’s specific needs, though usually diplomats and governmental employees rather than hockey players.

“Are you sure you can't take him in, Mackan?” Nicke asks, as they get lunch together one day after practice.

“Are we back on this subject again?” JoJo shakes his head as he cuts into his steak but it sounds as though he is joking so Nicke keeps pushing.

“I just feel we should be looking out for him better, as our fellow Swede.” Nicke pushes his food around his plate. He isn’t sure why he feels so strongly about Burakovsky’s wellbeing.

“Well, my house isn't set up for a Sentinel,” JoJo says. ” Besides, you're the Guide.”

“Which is why I can't do it.” Nicke tries not to sound too frustrated.

“Sure, that's what you keep saying.”

“What does that mean?” Nicke can feel Mackan’s skepticism and something else he can't quite put his finger on; almost pitying, which must be for Burky.

“I'm just saying, maybe you should take a good look at your own feelings.”

From conversations in the locker room, and what he hears directly from Whip and Latts, Burakovsky isn't exactly capable of taking care of himself and Nicke despairs at the thought of the three of them living together. He cooks for the other two from time to time and knows he ought to invite Burky along. Still, the thought of an unbonded Sentinel in his space, without the protection of the rest of the team, or at least those who know he is a Guide rather than just suspecting it, makes him nervous.

In early December, after a handful of healthy scratches, Burky gets sent down to Hershey so he can actually play, as it's clear he's getting frustrated in the press box. Nicke is relieved, except for how he isn’t. It feels as though there is something missing in the locker room and Nicke keeps looking for Burky. Nicke tells himself he’d just become accustomed to having another Swedish speaker around. Besides, he reminds himself that he doesn't miss Burky’s taste in locker room music.

Still, Burky isn't down for long and it’s when he gets called back up that it happens. They’re in the locker room, half undressed from practice, Whip and Latts on either side of him.

The boys are distracting Nicke by expecting him to solve their problems for them. Apparently they don't have any food in their place and are trying to persuade him to either cook for them or at least drive them somewhere.

“But Papa," Latts whines, "surely you don’t want us to starve?”

Burakovsky blindsides him. Nicke hadn't even realised he was in the room. A second’s contact, a bare hand across his shoulder. Nicke pulls back but it is already too late. He feels a shock rush through him, a moment frozen in time.

It’s as though the world turns upside-down and inside-out, then resettles itself into a new orientation. It takes a moment for Nicke to catch his breath.

Burakovsky is staring at him in delight and then Nicke is wrapped up in a hug and there’s no denying it. They’re bonded.

Words seem to come through a fog and Nicke can't work out who is talking.

“What’s going on?” one voice says.

“Papa?” asks another.

They all seem to be coming from much further away, hardly real to him, not like André is right now. His heart is racing, or is that André’s?

Ovi seems to realise what’s happened and quickly clears everyone out. “Move. Come on. Nothing to see--”

The others are slow to realise what has happened, but then again Ovi, Mackan and Greenie were the only ones who knew Nicke was a Guide beforehand. Orpik, who doesn’t know any of them well, helps out when he catches on.

The next hour is a blur. Trotz is there, with the team trainers and medical staff who want to assess them.

They end up sitting in the front office, side-by-side as André hasn’t let him go yet, whilst the team’s PR staff fuss about statements. “We can hold off making any announcements for now but you needed to let us know what you want to say.”

Nicke is silently panicking but he refuses to show it outwardly. Spontaneous bonds have to be registered with the league and, if word gets out, it won’t take too much for the press to put the pieces together and work out who it must be. That doesn’t mean he has to go along with it. “No announcements,” he insists. “I don’t want my private life in the news.”

André seems oblivious to the implications; Nicke is getting the full force of his joy.

Finally they are left alone in one of the offices and André still looks so excited. “Are you going to come back to the hotel with me? Or I can come to yours? And then we can go look for somewhere together-”

Nicke just wants to put some distance between them. Relationships between a Sentinel and their Guide can be platonic--in fact, they usually are--but bonds are different. Spontaneous bonds are a mainstay of romance novels and movies. It is clear that is what André is expecting but Nicke protests “I can’t. I have a partner, a daughter, you know that.”

André waves it away. “I’ll come and live with you then.”

It doesn’t sound unreasonable, even if they are going to try to keep it platonic, which Nicke hopes André understands. Nicke lived with the Nylanders when he first came to Washington, but it wasn’t the same. It might look outwardly similar--a young player moving in with an established player and his family--though Nicke was only seven years older than Burakovsky, not the fifteen there had been between himself and Michael. However, Michael had been a father figure to Nicke, or maybe a cool uncle at least, not his bond-mate.

Nicke doesn't know who called Liza, but then Mackan is knocking at the door and leads André away, whilst Ovi ushers Liza in, taking Haley so Liza can hold Nicke.

“I'm sorry,” he repeats, expecting her to feel betrayed but the only thing she is radiating is concern.

“We'll work it out,” she says. Liza knows how Nicke feels about bonding and he can sense her determination to find a way to make this work for them.

Fortunately they’re about to go on a road trip so Nicke manages to put Burakovsky off for a few more days, until they get back, though Burky insists on sitting next to him on the flight. Nicke puts in his earphones and pulls up one of the playlists Burakovsky complains about most in the locker room; there is no use pretending to sleep next to a Sentinel but Nicke can make it hard for Burky to focus on him.

He knows Alex wants to try and fix this somehow but even though Alex manages to sit next to him on the bus to the hotel, they can’t have a private conservation there. Nicke doesn’t want to do it anywhere within earshot of Burakovsky and that basically means in a different building. They make plans to meet up for breakfast and Nicke thinks that’s it.

Instead, when he swipes his keycard he finds Burakovsky already unpacking in the twin room.

“We get to share,” Burakovsky tells him with evident delight. “It’s in the CBA!” The league has a number of accommodations written into the CBA for Sentinels, Guides and bonded pairs which are probably great, except Nicke doesn’t want to be in this situation.

“I just remember I needed to talk to Greenie,” Nicke manages. He drops his bags and flees back into the hall, texting Greenie for his room number.

Mike lets him in and helps him calm down, letting Nicke pace the room to work off his initial panic, whilst calling in the big guns.

Ovi doesn’t knock, just wraps Nicke in a hug and again promises it will be fine. “He hurt you, I break his arms and legs,” he threatens. It is clear he feels guilty that he wasn’t able to prevent the bond happening, but it isn’t as though he could have made them incompatible, and then it was just a matter of time.

Nicke eventually heads back to the shared room, hoping Burakovsky will have gone to sleep, and feels guilty when he jumps up the moment Nicke enters. They’ve been bonded only a little over 24 hours and have been apart for most of it. Probably the headache Nicke’s been experiencing is more than his annoyance at the situation.

“Nicke, you were gone so long…” Burakovsky says, as he pulls Nicke into his arms.

His headache eases immediately at the contact but, unlike Ovi’s embrace which had felt reassuring, Burakovsky makes Nicke feel trapped.

After a few minutes, Nicke pulls away and, though he can immediately feel the gap between them as a physical thing, he needs the mental space. “Which bed did you want?” he asks, trying to get back to a more normal level.

“I thought we would share,” Burakovsky says, looking endearingly confused

Nicke looks pointedly at the single beds, which are fortunately far too narrow for two hockey players. “You really think we could both fit?”

André pouts and Nicke shouldn’t find that so charming either.

Nicke has a restless night, waking three or four times, conscious of the sleeping Sentinel practically within arm’s reach. André doesn’t appear to have the same difficulty.

Ovi catches up with Nicke on the way to breakfast the next day. “You need me talk to him?”

Nicke shakes his head. “Too late for that. Just… watch out, okay?” He doesn’t think André is going to do anything, but he hates feeling so vulnerable.

It’s not like being able to read each other’s mind, not like in the stories, but Nicke has an extra awareness now, will be able to sense where André is, feel serious injuries and strong emotions. It won’t _help_ in games, since the suppressants Sentinels are required to use on the ice takes the edge off their connection but it doesn’t go away entirely, just becomes muffled.

There are no such restrictions on Guides since their abilities are not considered an unfair advantage, more of a disadvantage, if anything. In many ways Sentinel suppressants are an advantage since they reduce the risk of zoning during a game but they have to be careful not to overuse them.

“For sure.” Ovi clapped him on the shoulder. “Remember, if he fuck up, I hurt him for you.”

Nicke slips into the seat next to Mackan, though André is quick to sit on his other side, and the look Mackan gives Nicke is as clear an ‘I told you so’ as if he’d said it out loud. Nicke kicks him under the table and glares, but Mackan just laughs.

Now that he has got past Nicke’s defenses, André won’t stop touching him. All through practice he keeps coming back to Nicke’s side, brushing against him, touching his arm, and the worst part is that Nicke doesn’t entirely want it to stop. It isn’t even skin contact but it makes him feel better to sense André clearly, which is dangerous if he wants to keep any distance between them.

Nicke never manages to find out if André knew he was a Guide before they bonded--if his touch had been deliberate--but André is so tactile with everyone, the complete opposite of the stereotypical Sentinel, that Nicke can’t be certain.

Even before they get back to Washington, André’s mother emails him. Nicke doesn't even want to ask where she got his address from. She sends some of André’s favorite recipes and other ‘care’ tips as though Nicke was going to be his servant or something now that they were bonded. That kind of expectation was nearly a century out of date but the belief that Guides were naturally more inclined to be caregivers persisted. Nicke had no intention of demeaning himself, though he did make a note of the food; they all had Swedish dishes they missed.

He feels guilty when André zones in practice, feels flustered when he remembers it’s his responsibility now since the team Guide won’t touch a bonded Sentinel. Though he’s been trying to ignore him, he knows André still zones frequently, even with the suppressants, and that one of the reasons he’d been sent down to Hershey in the hope the smaller crowd there might help him adjust better rather than being a ‘healthy’ scratch.

Nicke skates tentatively over to him and puts a reluctant hand on his arm. No, they need bare skin for this to work. He drops his glove and puts the other hand on André’s cheek. Nicke is out of practice, having barely done this since Moscow, and it feels as though everyone is watching him struggle to draw his Sentinel’s attention back.

“Burky--” he starts, then catches himself and swallows hard. “André,” he tries again, struggling to keep his voice steady. “We’ve got a game to play tonight so I’m going to need you to focus on my voice now.”

It takes a few minutes of stumbling through talking to André, though it seems longer as Nicke can hear the awkward conversations of teammates behind him, trying to ignore them. In the movies, the Guide always seems to be able to bring their bonded Sentinel out of a zone with an ease Nicke certainly doesn’t feel.

When André does finally re-focus, the way his face lights up and the surge of delight when he realises Nicke is there, somehow makes the effort worth it.

Afterwards the locker room is quieter than normal, Ovi glaring at anyone who seems as though they’re going to say anything to him. Burakovsky is even clingier than he has been already, barely letting go for their pre-game naps, and Nicke wakes up to find him staring at him with evident wonder.

After all that, the game is uneventful. Despite their victory, Nicke doesn’t go out with the team, feigning a headache, but of course André can tell he’s lying and insists on staying back with him. Nicke can hardly refuse so instead puts on a movie to avoid conversation.

The day they get back, André turns up at Nicke’s house with his bags and it’s clear he expects this to be permanent. Which should be entirely reasonable, since bonds between a Sentinel and their Guide can’t be broken, but is another reminder to Nicke that his life is changing beyond his control. Even if they hadn’t bonded, it would be awkward for him to be moving in suddenly like this but the bond adds an extra level to it.

Liza is really understanding about the whole situation but it’s hard to carry on their relationship with the bond like an elephant in the room, not to mention the extra person makes their house feel somewhat crowded. They both agree to try and treat André as a member of their family for now.

Nicke refuses to think of André as anything more but he doesn’t need empathic gifts to tell that André doesn’t feel the same way about him and Liza must know too. Fortunately Haley is too young to realise there’s any difference between André and any of her other ‘uncles’ who visit regularly and at least André seems happy enough to play with her.

“Probably they have the same attention span,” Mackan says one afternoon, when Nicke has invited him over to act as a social barrier while they watch André build up block towers for Haley to knock over.

They barely have time to start getting used to the bond before it is Christmas, which adds a whole load of additional sensory input and emotional burden. They were going to have to have an artificial tree for Haley’s sake anyway because she was too small to be trusted not to eat the pine needles. André probably could be, but he couldn't bear the smell, nor the scented candles Liza liked to have around the house, and he even manages to zone on the sound of the little decorative bells they had hung up.

It mostly works out okay in the end. Haley is too young to really appreciate the presents, much to André’s disappointment, as he has gone all out in adding to her pile of gifts. Instead she gets more enjoyment out of ripping off the paper and playing with the boxes.

André looks surprised and delighted to find there are multiple presents for him and, in return, has actually managed to find reasonable gifts for Nicke and Liza. Nicke suspects Mackan’s hand in his golf bag and probably Orpik's behind Liza’s tasteful bracelet.

At New Year, André tries to help with dishes and puts the wrong dish soap in the dishwasher, causing it to flood the kitchen. Liza shouts at him and storms out, leaving Nicke to clear up both physically and emotionally.

"She doesn't like me," André says sadly as the two of them mop up the foamy liquid.

If he wasn't so annoyed, Nicke might have been moved by his pitiful expression and even despite his annoyance he could feel genuine regret through their bond. "She just doesn't need another child to look after right now," he says.

"I'm not a child," André protests but, given he is literally pouting, it is difficult to take him seriously. He is only a year older than Willy Nylander, for fucks’ sake, who Nicke still thought of as a tiny blond monster. André would have probably given the Nylander boys a run for their money in the 'most angelic face after causing trouble' sweepstakes.

André does put his artless charm to good use when apologising to Liza but, though she forgives him on this occasion, it leaves a certain tension behind.

Nicke and André take a trip to Ikea in January to furnish André’s room since it’s clear he’s sticking around. Nicke assumes André will be able to put the flat packs together himself but, when he comes back up an hour later to ask about dinner, he finds him sitting in a pile of mismatched parts, at least three different packages open, a half-built drawer and a completely lopsided shell of a dresser.

He can’t understand what André was doing and ends up mostly putting it together himself, whilst André sits on the bed and provides a running commentary. Nicke isn't sure if André is terrifyingly bad at life or trying to make a point about staking a claim on his Guide by demanding his time and full attention. It isn’t unusual for a Sentinel to be territorial and, while Guides having their own family isn’t unheard of, it isn’t common either.

Sometimes he wonders how André has made it this far on his own. He knows people are always surprised about how he copes as a Guide without a Sentinel to help channel his empathic gifts, but Nicke was perfectly happy, so long as he kept people at arms’ length.

Their annual Mentor’s Trip provides a brief respite, though not as much as Nicke had hoped. Usually they share rooms with their fathers during the trip and Nicke had been looking forward to some time away from André. Unfortunately, his father gets on with André’s father Robert immediately and insists there is no reason for Nicke and André to be split up.

“We’ll be fine,” he tells Nicke. “Did you know he was drafted by the Rangers too?”

André had talked proudly about how his father had played in the NHL so Nicke supposes he should have expected them to connect. His father had got on well with Mackan’s father in previous years after all.

Watching André catching up with his father and hearing some of Robert’s stories about André growing up gives Nicke fond feelings but he pushes them away. He doesn't need the extra complication in his life: the bond itself is enough. Robert seems oblivious to the tension between Nicke and André, with André taking advantage of the situation to plaster himself against Nicke’s side at every opportunity.

Nicke doesn’t want to admit to his father that he is struggling to find a balance between his partner and his Sentinel. Though his parents had been supportive of his decisions, he knew they didn’t understand why he hadn’t wanted a bond.

Once their fathers have gone back to Sweden, Nicke agrees for André to invite Whip and Latts over for an evening. Even if Nicke isn’t always entirely sure he wants André in his house, it is only fair that he should treat it as his home too.

Nicke is happy to cook for them, since that way he knows they are following their diet plans and then leaves them to watch Say Yes to the Dress, which is not his idea of a fun evening. He retreats to the room he still shares with Liza. It is good to have some time where they are guaranteed to be left alone and have an early night.

Of course, that means they have had a few hours sleep when they are woken just after midnight by a loud crash and followed by Haley crying.

When Nicke goes to investigate, he is furious to find André and Whip are wrestling on the floor, clearly a few beers in. They haven't even noticed the side table which they had knocked over, where Latts is desperately trying to mop up a spilled beer with what is probably his own shirt, given he is no longer wearing one.

Shouting won’t help settle Haley so when Nicke speaks it is a low, almost growled, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

They separate themselves guilty and seem to realise the disturbance they have caused for the first time.

Coming downstairs with a crying child in her arms, Liza curses them all out and, unlike Whip and Latts who look deeply apologetic, André gets a stubborn look on his face. Nicke fears the situation is coming to a head.

Nicke can feel Liza barely holding in her temper. She hands Haley over, telling Nicke, “I’m going back to bed. _You_ sort all this out.”

He rocks his daughter, trying to push a calm he doesn’t quite feel at her as he throws Whip and Latts out, telling them he’ll deal with them tomorrow. Then he turns to André, who looks sulky. “If you’re going to be like this, you can find somewhere else to live,” Nicke tells him.

André gapes at him in astonishment but Nicke refuses to let him speak. “Just think about what I said.”

Days later on their next road trip, they are in their hotel room getting ready for bed when Nicke turns around and André is right up in his personal space. Then André kisses him and Nicke doesn’t know what to do.

He is initially overwhelmed as the feeling of connection is intense, but not what he wants. Burakovsky is a little taller than him but Nicke is still stronger and pushes him away. André looks hurt but Nicke forces himself to ignore his feelings and just glares him into submission. “I told you it couldn’t be like that for us.”

“But you’re my Guide,” Burakovsky protests.

“I’m not your anything,” Nicke snaps, though he knows he can’t deny their bond. He walks away, though his chest feels tight and his head is throbbing, and Greenie lets him spend the night in his room. Nicke barely sleeps, caught up in mulling over if he had done anything to encourage Burakovsky and what he should do next.

When Nicke calls Liza the next day to tell her about it, she isn't surprised. “Didn't you tell me bonds were usually physical? Of course he's going to expect that.”

She doesn’t sound happy about it but Nicke is hurt that she would think he would give up on her so easily. “It doesn’t have to be. And I’m with you.”

“Then you just need to talk to him about it. Properly,” Liza tells him, in a equitable tone.

Nicke wishes he could sense what she is actually feeling over this distance because he doubts it is as reasonable as she is trying to sound. Of course he should talk to André, but then he will have to acknowledge that things will change one way or another and Nicke doesn’t want them to.

In the evenings, Nicke and Liza used to take turns putting Haley to bed and then relax in front of the TV for an hour, to have some personal time. Now André is living with them, he either insists on sitting next to Nicke and argues that Liza could sit on his other side, or claims the sofa himself and Nicke finds Liza in the kitchen instead.

“I can't live like this, getting glared at every time I want to spend time with my boyfriend,” Liza complains. She has had a lot less patience with André’s antics since the kiss.

Nicke wraps his arms around her. “I'm sorry. You know I didn't want this.”

“It doesn’t matter what you wanted,” she says, and he can feel she is becoming exasperated. “Talk to him.”

Nicke knows he should but he doesn't want to be put in a position where he has to choose between them. They get about five minutes before Liza suddenly goes tense in his arms and Nicke can sense André just meters away.

“I'm just getting myself a drink,” André announces cheerfully.

Liza pulls away. “This is exactly what I mean,” she hisses at Nicke. “I'm going to bed.”

Nicke turns around to see André has taken a carton of juice from the fridge and is drinking directly out of it.

“Do you want some?” he asks, holding the carton out.

He isn't sure if André can genuinely be that oblivious but either way he's had enough. Nicke levels him with his best glare, the one which Ovi calls his ‘mean Lars’ look.

“Oh,” André says, and he not only sounds deflated but Nicke can feel his emotions twist from his usual easy going demeanor to shame.

It makes him feel worse, but Nicke doesn’t know how else to get through to him.

Nicke is genuinely relieved when André gets sent down again in March. They are called into MacLellan’s office, as under the CBA the team needs both of their agreement in order to do so. For all the accommodations the CBA makes towards Sentinel and Guide pairs, hockey is still a business so there is no obligation for them to be on the same team as long as they are not more than a certain distance from each other. Unless, of course, they explicitly consent. Nicke is quick to agree and André, more reluctantly, follows.

It is good to have the house to themselves for a little while, for Nicke and Liza to repair their strained relationship and to be able to talk without interruption. Even in his absence, André is still very much present.

“He isn’t going away,” Liza points out.

“That doesn’t mean anything has to change,” Nicke says stubbornly.

The look Liza gives him suggests she disagrees and Nicke can sense her rising frustration with the situation. But it is nearly the end of the season and they can wait to settle it over the summer.

By the time André comes back the playoffs are a great excuse to keep him at arm’s length.

The Capitals go out in the second round to the Rangers and André goes back to Hershey but only gets a single game before the Bears go out to the Hartford Wolf Pack. Nicke had hoped for more.

He is even more dismayed when he realises André is expecting to spend the summer with him, and by extension Liza and Haley.

“I thought you would want to visit your own family--” he protests.

“Of course, but they want to meet you too, properly.”

André ends up spending half the summer with Nicke’s extended family in Gävle and is just as handsy here. He charms Nicke’s parents but their different expectations for the bond must show as Nicke's mother pulls him aside to ask if he’s sure a platonic bond is the right thing for he and André. Nicke tries to assure her it is working but he is still uneasy.

At least Kris is somewhat sympathetic as André bounds away to fetch them drinks. “Is he always this enthusiastic?”

“He’s being quite restrained, actually,” Nicke says, and it’s only half a joke. André’s relentless cheer gets tiring after a while, and Nicke never gets to shut it out.

“Sooner you than me,” Kris laughs then, as though realising Nicke is restraining himself from saying more, puts an arm around him reassuringly. “Things will work out, just hang in there.” It was easy for him to say, he wasn’t a full Guide.

By the time Robert and Pernilla come to visit, Nicke is frustrated by how everyone else seems to be assuming he is happy with the situation but he can hardly tell anyone that it isn’t going smoothly. Bonds are supposed to solve everything, not be the source of his problems. If it had been a bond of choice maybe things would have been different, but he hadn’t chosen this.

When it is time for the new season, Liza decides to stay in Sweden rather than coming back to Washington and feeling like the fifth wheel. “He's your Sentinel,” she says. “Maybe you've never admitted to wanting this but I can't stand in your way.”

“Has he said something to you?” Nicke asks. He can feel a rising sense of dread, he needs Liza there to help him keep André at bay.

“No,” Liza shakes her head. “But he didn’t need to. Last year was hard. I can’t spend another one trying to share you with someone who barely acknowledges me.”

Nicke tries to protest but she is adamant that he needs to try and work things out with André. “I’m not saying we’re over, I just want you to work out where you stand with him without me there. Give the bond a chance.”

He can feel her anxiety but also her resolve. “What about Haley?”

“We’ll still be here when you figure out what you really want.”

**

Back in Washington, André makes himself at home in Nicke’s spare room, though he had initially suggested they could share before Nicke balked at the idea.

As well as the emptiness at home, on the team Nicke has to manage without Greenie, who had gone to the Red Wings in free agency. There are other changes too: Brouwer has gone to St Louis in return for TJ Oshie, who is well known to have Guide traits.

Nicke is horrified by the wave of possessiveness he feels the first time he sees Oshie interacting with André. He has to force down the instinct pushing him to go over and get between the interloper and _his Sentinel_.

He speaks to Liza and Haley every day over Skype before they go to bed, working his schedule around the timezone difference, determined to prove that he needs them more than André. It is not the same as having them there with him, but it helps remind him what is important to him.

It is fine for the first couple of weeks, but then André starts turning up whilst he is on the call. To begin with, it is simple questions, a vague pretext, but when André even shows up when Nicke tries calling at different times of the day, or from the lounge at Kettler, he is sure it must be deliberate. He just isn’t sure what André is hoping to achieve.

It’s not like Nicke doesn’t know the feedback on the bond goes both ways. He hates to think that André is deliberately trying to sabotage his relationship but he isn’t sure what else to believe.

Liza never reacts as though she's bothered by it, making a point of greeting André every time and including him in their conversation. Sometimes, Nicke senses a flicker of guilt from André before he leaves again but other times he crowds Nicke to fit in the viewfinder window with him.

He feels like it ought to be awkward but somehow the conversations where he is able to forget why they are in this situation and just enjoy watching Haley play while André is pressed warm against his side are the best ones, at least until the reality comes crashing back down on him.

It's hard not to resent André when he has to celebrate his daughter's birthday over Skype, even though he knows it’s not really _his_ fault. André shows unusual restraint in excusing himself after wishing Haley ‘Happy birthday’ and only returns when Nicke is done. He sits beside Nicke on the sofa and clumsily tries to comfort him; Nicke is worn down enough to let him.

Their first road trip is early in the season and Nicke is unimpressed when he wakes up with André wrapped around him in his bed. He jerks away and André blinks awake, a smile spreading across his face until he suddenly seems to register Nicke’s annoyance. He sits up, ridiculous hair sticking up in all directions and Nicke has to stop himself reaching out to smooth it down.

“I don’t understand,” André protests. “Why do you keep pushing me away? We’re bonded.”

“I’ve told you before.” Nicke can’t quite keep the irritation from his tone. “I have a relationship, I don’t need another one. It’ll have to be a platonic bond.”

André won’t take that for an answer, and Nicke can’t exactly change rooming assignments so it goes on for the rest of the road trip, and then the next one, and it isn’t just the sleeping arrangements.

He comes to dread the phrase, “Papa, Burky’s out of it again.”

Nicke is sitting with Mackan on this occasion but it isn’t the first time when he sits with someone else on the bus or plane that he’s ended up getting called over to André to pull him out of a zone.

Nicke doesn’t want to believe André is causing himself to zone to get Nicke’s full attention but that’s what it feels like. Surely no Sentinel could have gotten as far as he has and still be falling into zones so often? Especially when having a bonded Guide is supposed to make it less frequent, not more.

After they play the Red Wings, Nicke goes out with Greenie, hoping his distance from the situation might help but he isn’t as helpful as Nicke had hoped.

“Look, I get that Burky isn’t ideal relationship material,” Greenie says, waving his bottle of beer around expressively. “But he’s your bonded Sentinel. Isn’t that kind of like a soulmate?”

“That’s the problem,” Nicke sees André as maybe a younger brother, a responsibility, whilst André seems determined to push their relationship to the next level.

“But you must find him attractive, right?” Greenie asks. “I mean even I kind of do.”

“That’s not the point.”

“That’s not an answer. And it’s definitely not a no--”

“I haven’t thought about it.” Nicke hasn’t even let himself consider it. “I didn’t have a choice about our bond but I get to choose how to treat it.” No Sentinel nor Guide could ever force their bonded into a physical relationship, the backlash along the bond would be unbearable, but André seems to be trying his hardest to skirt the boundaries of how hard he can push.

“Sure. But don’t go denying yourself happiness just because it doesn’t look like you had planned.”

He had been happy, before the bond, but he takes Greenie’s point.

When Nicke gets back home and finds André waiting up for him, now that Greenie has made him aware, he can’t help noticing both that André is very pretty and that part of the uncomfortable feeling he’d been ignoring was actually physical attraction.

Of course, he is less attracted when he discovers André has literally thrown a pan into the trash after he burnt his pasta to the bottom of it. Which is at least better than the time he had melted the Tupperware container to the oven shelf and failed to mention it until Nicke experienced the smell of melting plastic for himself. André hadn't thought it would smell so bad to a normal person. Presumably this time he hadn't thought Nicke would miss the pan.

His inability to fend for himself isn’t the only thing which irritates Nicke. They are always late--or at least less early than Nicke would like to be--since André takes far too long in the bathroom, fussing with his hair. And his room is a disaster zone, so he keeps borrowing Nicke’s shirts and sweatpants because he hasn’t done laundry. But his smile lights up any room he’s in, and he is genuinely kind-hearted.

The first time they have sex, it is on the road after a frustrating loss. André can’t seem to sit still and Nicke pulls him down to ground him, knowing that he’s vulnerable to zoning in that state. André kisses him and then they are pulling clothes off, nerves sparking as their skin contact increases. The only feeling Nicke gets is pleasure and he isn’t entirely sure where he ends and André begins.

They are just rutting against each other and all of Nicke's senses are overwhelmed so he can’t imagine what it must be like for André, how much more he must be feeling. It’s everything popular culture makes bonded sex out to be, like there’s nothing else in the world but the two of them.

When Nicke comes, he literally sees stars, and knows André is feeling the same. Something clicks into place between them, like the last piece of a puzzle. Nothing has changed but, at the same time, everything has.

It is over too quickly for Nicke to have the chance to be anxious, but that doesn’t stop him feeling guilty in the aftermath, despite Liza’s previous assurances of her acceptance. Worse, in André’s emotions he can sense triumph, which leaves a bad taste in his mouth, as though he were a trophy to be won.

When Nicke admits to Liza what happened she almost seems relieved, as though she’d been waiting for him to tell her just that.

“I thought you’d be angry,” he asks, confused. At the least, he’d expected her to be upset.

“I never thought it was meant to be a platonic bond,” she tells him gently.

Nicke frowns. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

Liza nods with understanding. “But it’s what we’ve got.”

In retrospect Nicke shouldn't have been surprised the tension between himself and André had come to a head, like a pot boiling over, but he had been firmly in denial. He can no longer pretend he is oblivious to André's desire but he still holds out.

Still, having given in once, André clearly expects him to again and though Nicke tries to resist a little while longer it is as if the bond knows something has changed between them and it seems to demand more contact to be satisfied.

It is frustrating for Nicke that he can never seem to get any time alone. If he doesn’t make a point of finding a seat-mate he can guarantee André will end up sitting next to him when travelling, at team meals, or when they go out with the team. He is only grateful that displays of excessive affection in the locker room get fined and so there is always someone in between them there.

At home is the opposite. Nicke thinks this is what having a cat must be like; he can barely even go to the bathroom without André turning up at the door.

Christmas is even harder this year. André had insisted on decorating the house or Nicke probably wouldn’t have bothered but it looks good. When they skype, Liza even compliments him for “making Nicke get into the Christmas spirit.”

Haley is just about old enough to actually appreciate the presents and Liza is staying in Sweden with Nicke’s parents. She had made an excuse about travelling with Haley being difficult for only a few days, though the situation with André couldn’t be helping.

Nicke’s parents had offered to come and visit him but, with André ever-present, Nicke hadn’t wanted to spend his holiday pretending he didn’t resent the way they got on. If anyone had to be lonely, better for it to be him than Liza, who had done nothing to deserve this.

It is early in the new year when Nicke finally gives in again, at home this time. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the last night, and the low-level pull he has been suppressing since they bonded is now a keen ache, so when André hugs him, Nicke turns his head and lets their lips meet.

André makes an undignified sound. “Nicke, please, won’t you let me?”

Nicke can’t unfreeze the words from his throat but he manages to nod.

They end up in André’s room, and he is unsurprised to be pushed onto the bed by his demanding Sentinel.

André pins him down and Nicke reminds himself that he could absolutely overpower him if he needed to, but that isn't the point of this. It helps that André doesn't look like the predatory stereotype of a Sentinel right now but instead his pupils are blown with pleasure and his smile is blinding.

“My Nicke…” he says. Nicke doesn't feel worthy to be looked at with that level of awe.

André won’t let him help as he carefully strips them both, eyes and hands leaving Nicke equally exposed. It is a staple of romantic novels and movies, that a newly bonded Sentinel explores their Guide with all their senses and that is how Nicke feels now. André just seems to want to scent and taste him all over: his neck, armpit, his chest, abs, the crease of his hip, all the way down to his feet.

As he moves back up Nicke’s body, André licks his lips, which Nicke will only admit to fantasising about in the privacy of his own mind. The half-thought must be enough to let André know what he is thinking, that or the way he is hardening with the prolonged contact, as André looks delighted. “Can I?”

He looks up at Nicke through his pretty eyelashes and Nicke can’t resist any longer. “Yes.”

André is eager and his mouth is heavenly, so it doesn’t take Nicke long before he is nearing the edge. Even if he couldn’t sense his enjoyment, the way André’s hips are moving against the sheets would tell Nicke just how much he wants this too.

He had expected André would want more from him and is both surprised and relieved that he doesn't want him to submit. Part of him, the part which has always steered him away from Sentinels, tells him it is a trick, but he can feel André’s emotions and there is no deceit there, only desire.

Nicke is perfectly happy to help André jerk off, their bond humming as he twists his wrist, rubs his thumb over the head of his dick. It feels good. He doesn’t object when André comes over him, or even when he starts to rub it in afterwards, understanding it’s to ensure he smells of his Sentinel. He’s still going to shower before he goes out in public again, even if it’s just the team.

He should have guessed, since André isn’t a traditional Sentinel in any other way, that the cuddling afterwards would be André’s favorite part. Nicke would rather not talk about their relationship, but he privately admits he quite enjoys the cuddling too.

Nicke is prepared for André to become more possessive but actually he seems to back off so long as he gets enough cuddles on the sofa in front of the TV or sharing a bed. Nicke insists on keeping his own room at home but stops resisting sharing on the road, lets André push the beds together when they are singles.

Nicke is surprised by how comfortable he feels sitting in front of the TV with André’s head in his lap, just running his fingers through André’s curls. He doesn’t care much for André’s taste in TV shows, since Whip and Latts got him watching all sorts of reality shows, but his running commentary is pretty amusing. André’s happy to trade off control of the TV so Nicke can watch golf or whatever he prefers and André doesn’t complain so long as he’s still getting petted. It really is like having a cat.

Weirdly, it starts to become easier to get on with normal life. Nicke hasn’t had a headache in weeks, as though now he’s stopped fighting the bond it has started to release him, like that plant in the Harry Potter movie. He realises André is zoning less often too. Maybe this isn’t so bad, he thinks, then immediately feels guilty over Liza and Haley.

As they get closer to the end of the season, André starts making secretive calls, hiding his phone screen from Nicke. Nicke isn’t sure what to think as he had started to believe things were working. He’s supposed to be a responsible adult though so he forces himself to ask, “Is everything alright?”

André refuses to meet his eyes. “Just making plans for the summer,” he says, with his usual bright smile.

Nicke doesn’t get any sense that he’s lying but something doesn’t feel right. He remembers how last year he had to remind André to pack underwear and shoes and they still had to go shopping their first day back in Sweden for a toothbrush and razor, so he can’t help but worry.

Perhaps conscious of Nicke’s growing concerns, one evening André decides to cook and the first Nicke learns of it is when he hears the whining of the smoke alarm. He rushes in to discover the kitchen full of smoke and flames coming from the stove and, of course, to add to the problem, the smell or perhaps the sound of the alarm has sent André into a zone.

Nicke has to take a deep breath against the rising panic, probably second-hand from André, and dumps the burning pan into the sink, followed by the dishcloth which had either been resting on the stovetop or André had used to try and put out the initial fire. He turns on the tap and thanks the hockey gods it wasn’t burning oil, which would have been a worse issue.

Once the fire is out, and the windows open to clear the smoke, he turns to André, who is already blinking back to awareness, presumably with the removal of whatever stimulus he was zoning on.

“What on earth were you thinking?”

André looks embarrassed and it feels genuine. “I just wanted to try cooking for a change.”

By the time food has been ordered from their usual delivery place, and André has apologised profusely, Nicke isn’t certain whether to laugh or cry. He doesn’t know if André was trying to gets his attention or actually trying to be thoughtful, which is really par for the course with their relationship.

They know well in advance they are making the playoffs and will win the President’s Trophy but it is still exciting to be presented with it at the end of the season. Nicke can’t entirely concentrate on that though as André gets increasingly antsy as the game and presentation went on. Nicke hopes he isn't about to zone or worse; sensory overload is bad for Sentinels and the effects of the suppressants don’t mask everything.

However when they get off the ice all is revealed. Nicke is accustomed to being called Papa but that isn’t one of the team’s voices and when he looks up and sees Liza and Haley waiting for him he still can't quite believe it. He looks back to André who just smiles and pushes him over to them. Liza had done her best to make sure he hadn't missed any major milestones but it isn't the same as holding his little girl in his arms.

It barely feels like any time at all before André comes back from the showers and wraps himself around Nicke’s shoulders as though nothing has changed.

“You can't stay here all night.”

Nicke pulls himself away from Liza and Haley reluctantly, reality coming back. “Where are you staying?” He expects they'll be going to a hotel, since what Sentinel wants strangers in their home, but maybe André won’t mind if he stays with them for a couple of days.

Liza looks to André and Nicke can’t see his expression but he can hear the confusion in his tone. “They’re coming back with us, of course, they're your family.”

He turns to look at André in surprise. The whole reason they hadn’t been here all year was because he didn’t know how to share. André just looks determined, as though he’s preparing for Nicke’s reaction, whatever that may be.

Liza has a hire car so they drive back separately. Nicke lets André drive, though he usually prefers to be the one in control, as he tries to understand. “Did you know they were coming?”

André glances across at him almost nervously. “I invited them. I might be self-centred but I'm not stupid. I could tell it was tearing you up.”

“But you hated it when we were all living together. You’ve always tried to push us apart.”

He gets a wave of guilt off André, followed by determination. “I can learn to share. I want to learn. We're not the first to be in this situation.”

“We’re not?” Nicke can tell he means what he says but he isn’t convinced it’s possible.

It turns out André’s been reading a lot of internet support forums. “I just need to know that you’re there and that you’re safe. Everytime you pull away from me, I panic and that makes me more territorial. I need you to talk to me, I can tell when you’re unhappy, you know?”

Nicke feels guilty that he had made André feel rejected, they could have found a compromise sooner if André had actually told him any of this before but then he hadn’t talked much either.

He had always just assumed he couldn't have both of them; that either his bond with André had to be platonic, which it refused to be, or else he had to be estranged from Liza, which he had never wanted but thought he had no choice.

André believes they can make it work. They will have to talk more, to work out a more permanent compromise between André’s natural possessiveness and Nicke’s own desires. And Liza deserves the chance to have her own say on how this relationship will work.

They haven’t resolved everything by the time they get back but it’s enough to move forwards. Nicke embraces André once they’re inside and, for the first time, he doesn’t hold anything back. It is as though a heavy weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

He goes to sleep that night in his own bed with Liza at his side, fully content for the first time since the bond. Nicke wants so badly to make it work he would probably agree to anything that lets him keep his family around but he is starting to realise maybe he doesn't have to.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to Ells for the beta - you helped make this better in so many ways!


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